Friday........

Well what a boring title......I had a job interviews this week......well sort of job interviews....they are 'Meet & Greets' where the prospective employer get's to know you first, before they decide if they want to progress with a formal interview. I am so sick of this.....I just want to be able to get a small simple part time job which is people orientated. Well we will see what happens.

I am off with Si to the Dr's shortly....he accidentally stood on his own foot a couple of weekends ago and the toenail as gone all yukky and infected, so I finally managed to convince him to go to the dr's, so I will meet him there at 11:30 and see what they say.....I truly think he is going to lose his toenail........ouch........!!!! I'll pop back later with an update on that

I am working tonight from 4pm till 8pm at the on call job I do for Armourguard security, which will give me a little extra money for when I go to Christchurch next Thursdays.......3 nights with Roz, going to be so fun!!!! Can't wait!!!

UPDATE: Well, back from the Doctors and Si is not going to lose his toenail.......just on a courseof strong antibiotics......so that is great. I am heading of to work soon - but thought I might get a nana nap in as I am really tired this afternoon.

Looking forward to a nice quiet weekend, might head to the Saturday morning market in Palmerston North and check out what bargins we can find. I think I will only have like $20 to spend, but hopefully we can get some good fruit and veges from there. The only other thing I want to acheive over the weekend, is to get the 3rd garden plot weeded, plant some more tomoto plants and to do some baking........other than that it will just be playing my game and hanging out with Si.

A picture post...

Well I promised some time ago some pictures of the outside of my little house......so here goes......there are a few!!!!

The entrance to the house from the Letterbox to the main front door (conservatory)

Close up of the roses along the path - unfortunatley you can't see that there are about 3 different shades of roses on the one bush

Another close up of one of the roses - I love the orange one.


The house from the road...

The big backyard that Porsche is enjoying

What all 4 of the vege plots looked like......this one will have to wait to be weeded till after we have harvested the potatoes

The first plot that I weeded and then planted runner beans, lettuces, carrots, silverbeat and spinach in.

This one already had the rhubard and the cauliflowers, and since then I have planted corn, brocoli and beetroot.

A shot of all 4 plots......the other two plots have yet to be finished weeding, and I have planted some cabbage, 1 pumpkin and a couple more lettuce.

The outside studio room that the owner of the house used to use as an art studio......I however am actually going to do something else with it........

I can't beleive it - but I am actually going to sew in it.....and do crafts etc. I have started a patchwork sewing project and I will take some pics of that as I get further on.

This is the side of the house just out the backdoor from the kitchen. It is a completely enclosed section and it is more than likely where we will end up having BBQ's etc in summer as we can keep the dogs in the backyard.

Another shot of the enclosed BBQ yard area.

And finally - one of my baby girl!!!!

It's OKAY to not be OKAY

I am 3.5 hours into my second 12 hour shift for the weekend, and I can honestly tell you that this is going by so slowly……..It is really quiet here today and the person I am working with is not communicative at all…..like I have had a mumbled “hello” when I walked in the door and a “I’m going to the toilet” and that is it…….It is such a drag compared to yesterday where the women I was working with is very chatty and we get on really well…..honestly yesterday felt like just hanging out with a friend for the day.

I am technically still in training, although she hasn’t once asked me about anything I have done or checked up on me…..in fact 90% of the I have been here she has been on the phone to friends/family…….nothing work related……..now she is surfing trademe……..I mean I have facebook up and you tube etc but I am still actioning things when they come in and I have taken 90% of the phone calls.

I was hoping to get a video recorded and uploaded for youtube today, but I don’t think that is going to happen.

I have been doing some thinking about where I am at – and more so since watching a you tube video from Allison……and a post earlier in the week from Jo…..basically it is okay to not be OKAY….and to be struggling, and it is important to actually talk about it……it is not okay to sweep it under the carpet and not deal with it……

I am sitting at just above my “alarm bells” weight of 105 kgs…..today it was 105.6 and I know most of that is because I am making some stupid decisions when it comes to food and I can eat junk until I almost dump…..then I wait for a bit…..then do it all over again…….I should only be having my 3 meals a day, and I should be having much more water than I am…….I almost drink no water……..I am getting the exercise in most of the time……but the jet planes that I eat in the car on the way have to stop.

The stupid thing about the scales are that earlier in the week they were sitting at 101.9 kgs ……so I am trying not to let it become the be all and end all….and that my clothes fit is more accurate…..but I can see the difference in my face….I feel very very puffy.

SO, I have to somehow work on why I am sabotaging myself…….I don[‘t get it, I want to be healthy so we can hopefully start a family…….so why am I doing it…….need some soul searching and find some answers.

I had a busy

Busy busy weekend, which was good.....I worked an 8 hour shift on Saturday from 8 am till 4pm and then came home ready for the trick or treaters.......I love the idea of Halloween, and we had bought a sign for the front gate/letter box saying "halloween treats" and we put it out at aroudn 5 pm so that we would hopefully get some kids drop by.......well we got one set of two people.......around the age of 14.........total letdown. I really wish NZ could actually get into this a bit more......it is a fun and harmless event.

Then on Sunday we had the extended family Christmas where all of my grandmothers decendants try and get together for one meal.......a pot luck BBQ. It is usually a little later in Novemember but everyone is so busy this year we had it on Sunday. Sometimes it is the only time I get to see my cousins.

Part way through I wanted to go to the WLS group as one of the newish guys was heading off to have his surgery... and I really wanted to give him my best. Another one of the ladies had not been coming for a long time as she thought she no longer had anything positive to contribute......but I had rung her and told her we missed her.....so she was there, and it was great to see her again.Went back to the BBQ and stayed maybe another hour and then headed home.

Today I am really tired and feeling a bit run down. I have been extremely cold and just miserable. I am finding the smallness of this house a little hard and I think I need to get the little studio room set up and maybe do some craft stuff......I just think I am a bit moody today.

Not much planned for this week, I am working 12 hour shifts next Saturday adn Sunday, so that will be the weekend dealt with.

UPDATE: An added part about Halloween.
I realise that this is not a fesitival for everyone, but I like it, and although Americans have embraced it, (the candy part) the meaning behind it is actually Celtic and dates back 2500 years. The church then got involved and changed the meaning behind it, although I still believe in it as a time to remember the dead. On the day of the dead which is Nov 1st.

I also realise that not everyone is comfortable with their kids going up to strangers houses and not knowing if they actually partake in the festival, which is why I bought a sign for our house and next year I will probably do the pumpkin thing or decorate the front yard in some way, probably a few days before so the neighbourhood know that I am doing it.....Will also let the neighbours who have kids know, so they know it is a safe house.

Motivated? Am I?

Okay so I did a youtube video today about being motivated and how the WLS community there is really amazing and it does motivate me......I am not 100% on track with everything, but I am heading in the rightish direction and I am motivated to keep moving forward.

I pu tinthe video post how I just seem to be more motivated to get up in the mornings and move and to take a little bit better care of my appearance -ie straightening my hair and putting on some make up etc......even on days when I am not working. It just feels good.

So I mentioned all this to Si and he said he didn't think it was motivation.....he says I have always been motivated - but just whenI have not been well I have not been able to manage to make it work......now I am not sure if I agree intirely - however I do beleive that it is actually ACCEPTANCE......of not just the situation with my health and my job, but where I am with my weightloss.

You know over the last two days of actually getting dressed up and going into my local stores.....I have had so many compliments on how I look and how much I have lost.....some people know and some don't. But I think I am getting to a point where I am ACCEPTING my lot........and you know what.....I am happy.

The trick is not to get complacent huh?

Not alot happening

There is definately not alot happening in the world of Janine......I have finished the first lot of training for my on call casual job and I have no idea when they next need me. So far I have done 26 hours and got paid for that today......so guess what I am doing.........going to the bank, paying bills and then looking maybe at webcam prices so it is easier for me to upload videos to youtube.......or at least do quick capture videos. I actually upload a new post to my you tube yesterday for those who are keen you can go to HERE

I have been applying for more part time positions but I am finding that I get the "your overqualified" speil and short of telling them that becuase i have been sick (and frightening them even more) that is all I am looking for.......I am not sure what else to do. I think I might go and approach some of the retail shops in town next week and just let them know I am available to help with the busy christmas season........and see what happens.

This weekend coming is going to be a busy one......well Sunday is......my extended family - all the aunties, uncles and cousins get together for a family Christmas in Novemeber and this year it is on Nov 1st as everyone is so busy........very early to be thinking about Christmas I know.....but never mind, that is how it works out. It is also the Palmerston North WLS monthly support group meeting and I hate to miss them, so I might sneek away for an hour to go to that as well....it is close, so It shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Oh here is a picture of the front of our house.......taken before we moved in, but gives you an idea.......and I will get aroudn to taking some more at some point soon.

Hiccups

I haven't posted as I have been not sure how to say what I needed to say. As many of you know I took a job late last week our at Ohakea Airbase doing cleaning of the officers mess. It was 3 days per week for 5 hours pers day. Well although I was looking forward to having some regular income it was probablynot the top choice for employment, but hey in this climate you can't be picky right.

Anyway, on Sunday I actually got quite ill and had quite a major flareup of my illness. Headed to the Dr's on Monday and thankfully saw my normal GP- it was his last day as he is going back to just being an Emergency Dept Dr. He ordered some blood tests and yes htey were considerably higher than normal. Si came with me which was actually a surprise as I thought he had gone to work, which he had, but he came back to go to the appt with me as he was not sure I would ask the dr about working......you see Si had concerns about me taking such a physical job when I am not well.

The upshot of the conversation with the Dr was that he thought I was "bonkers" to even try such a physically demanding job and that he would really only be happy with me doing some sort of admin role. So I had to let that job go......my boss was really understanding about the situation and even said that if he has any admin work he will let me know.

So yesterday, I started training with the alarm monitoring for Armourguard security, which was brilliant and I enjoyed it....I did 4 hours yesterday and I have 6 today and friday with another 4 on Saturday. Once that is done I will be on call/casual and after talking with some of the staff yesterday it does mean that it will be quite casual........so I do need to find another part time role somehow..........will definately go around some of the retail outlets in my home town and offer my services for the busy lead up to Christmas.

Oh - one of the brilliant things about not working.........I can finally catch up with a great online radio show that is hosted by Diva Taunia. It is a show designed for Weightloss Surgery Patients and I have gotten to know some of them through my you tube page......if you are ever around between 11am and midday on a Tuesday check it out. Just click on Diva Taunia on Blogtalk Radio and listen in.

Actually my you tube channel is very out of date at the moment and I have not done an update for so long....I keep recording them but not getting around to editing and posting them.......shocking!!!