New Moon.........

Roz and I went to the new twilight movie today......was fab!!!! I only watched the first one a few days ago as Roz had mentioned that we might be going, and I really enjoyed it, and am now going to read the books as I have heard that they are really good, and I love reading, so will be nice to get lost in them. And man- the buff chest of the character Jacob!!!! NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I am down here in Christchurch and the flight was late, but really nice to have a drink with Si at the airport before I left. We headed home and had a lovely chicken salad for dinner, and spent some time chatting before heading to Riccarton mall....man that place is huge..........and it has some amazing shops that we don't have have in Palmy. There is an amazing clothing store called TS 14+ and from the brief look at their stuff I LOVE some of it, ......but anyway, I have emailed them as they are apparently opening a store in the plaza in 2010, and I have said I want to work for them!!! Will see what happens.

I went to my nephew's school assembly today as he was in a short skit about Choices and Conscience and it made me think that I have some choices to make in several aspects of my life, and that I need to find what is right for Simon & myself.......isn't it amazing where some lessons present themselves in life?

I have to say that I am really happy that some many of you delurked and commented. As I mentioned I know that some of you read in google reader or have no access to comment etc, but the comments do really keep me going some days. I also know that I don't always know what to say in comments and sometimes it really feels like it has already been said.......but it is really nice to see the support and encouragement. Oh and to answer one question......................NO he doesn't seem to mind........!!!!!!!

Anyway, need to get off Roz's laptop, have a quiet day planned tomorrow at this point as Roz & her husband have a course and then we are just having a meal together with some of the extended family. I will have use of their car tomorrow, so might go and take some pictures around the city and maybe out at the beach. Will see.

Busy Day.....and some movement

UPDATE: - Someone recently said in a blog that comments actually help them to stay motivated....I am the same!!! I see you all visiting like sometimes 50 people in a day......but you don't comment. I know some of you don't like commenting, or are reading in google reader or like me just can't think of the right thing to say.....but honestly, sometimes it kinda hurts that you all breeze in and out and don't leave me anything constructive....positive or negative. I also know that I write this for me, however is still would be nice to hear your thoughts and comment, even if it via email if you want to comment privately. Okay - enough said.


Started the day off going to the Curves, and although my weight is up I am very very happy to report that my cm's have changed....in fact I have lost 15.5 cm's in total in the last 5 weeks of attending curves, so something is working.....

I have actually lsot a huge amound my middle - a whopping 6 cms from my abdomen.....we measured it like 4 times because it just didn't seem right. I also lost 2.5 of my bust, 3 cm from my waist and 2 of each thigh.........SO super stoked about that, oh and my body fat % went down by 1% so I guess that means I am building muscle........super cool and came just at the right time to remotivate me.

Came home and walked the dog after my protein shake and a catch up on some blogs etc........then made Si some lunch before he went back to work and then I headed out to the garden to do some weeding......there was this one plant that looked kinda like a celery although the leaves were wrong......so I pulled it out....only to discover it was parsnips......so I have two fully grown parsnips from the garden that will no doubt get used.

Have a busy week ahead this week, as I am heading down to Christchurch for 3 days to spend some time with Roz. Will be fantastic to catch up with her and get to know her family better. Oh and I love the spring weather in Christchurch.

Not much on the work front - nothing I apply for I get passed a first interview for.....I have an assessment day on Tuesday next week for IRD, although it is nights and weekends and I don't really want it because it would mean not seeing Si a hell of alot. I am also looking into doing a type of party plan and I am looking at starting it in the new year...it is a product I really like, and there is no one in this area doing it, so hopefully that means I could capture the market......will see. There are no start up costs........just 6 confirmed parties......so if any of you in the area from say Waikanae to Wanganui want to help me out by hosting a party drop me an email and I will let you know more about it......would have to be in late Jan/early Feb to get me started, and there is absolutely no obligation to buy....I just need your house and a few friends......hehe.

Anyway, off to see what Si is up to outside.........he is pottering in the garage!!!

Friday........

Well what a boring title......I had a job interviews this week......well sort of job interviews....they are 'Meet & Greets' where the prospective employer get's to know you first, before they decide if they want to progress with a formal interview. I am so sick of this.....I just want to be able to get a small simple part time job which is people orientated. Well we will see what happens.

I am off with Si to the Dr's shortly....he accidentally stood on his own foot a couple of weekends ago and the toenail as gone all yukky and infected, so I finally managed to convince him to go to the dr's, so I will meet him there at 11:30 and see what they say.....I truly think he is going to lose his toenail........ouch........!!!! I'll pop back later with an update on that

I am working tonight from 4pm till 8pm at the on call job I do for Armourguard security, which will give me a little extra money for when I go to Christchurch next Thursdays.......3 nights with Roz, going to be so fun!!!! Can't wait!!!

UPDATE: Well, back from the Doctors and Si is not going to lose his toenail.......just on a courseof strong antibiotics......so that is great. I am heading of to work soon - but thought I might get a nana nap in as I am really tired this afternoon.

Looking forward to a nice quiet weekend, might head to the Saturday morning market in Palmerston North and check out what bargins we can find. I think I will only have like $20 to spend, but hopefully we can get some good fruit and veges from there. The only other thing I want to acheive over the weekend, is to get the 3rd garden plot weeded, plant some more tomoto plants and to do some baking........other than that it will just be playing my game and hanging out with Si.

A picture post...

Well I promised some time ago some pictures of the outside of my little house......so here goes......there are a few!!!!

The entrance to the house from the Letterbox to the main front door (conservatory)

Close up of the roses along the path - unfortunatley you can't see that there are about 3 different shades of roses on the one bush

Another close up of one of the roses - I love the orange one.


The house from the road...

The big backyard that Porsche is enjoying

What all 4 of the vege plots looked like......this one will have to wait to be weeded till after we have harvested the potatoes

The first plot that I weeded and then planted runner beans, lettuces, carrots, silverbeat and spinach in.

This one already had the rhubard and the cauliflowers, and since then I have planted corn, brocoli and beetroot.

A shot of all 4 plots......the other two plots have yet to be finished weeding, and I have planted some cabbage, 1 pumpkin and a couple more lettuce.

The outside studio room that the owner of the house used to use as an art studio......I however am actually going to do something else with it........

I can't beleive it - but I am actually going to sew in it.....and do crafts etc. I have started a patchwork sewing project and I will take some pics of that as I get further on.

This is the side of the house just out the backdoor from the kitchen. It is a completely enclosed section and it is more than likely where we will end up having BBQ's etc in summer as we can keep the dogs in the backyard.

Another shot of the enclosed BBQ yard area.

And finally - one of my baby girl!!!!

It's OKAY to not be OKAY

I am 3.5 hours into my second 12 hour shift for the weekend, and I can honestly tell you that this is going by so slowly……..It is really quiet here today and the person I am working with is not communicative at all…..like I have had a mumbled “hello” when I walked in the door and a “I’m going to the toilet” and that is it…….It is such a drag compared to yesterday where the women I was working with is very chatty and we get on really well…..honestly yesterday felt like just hanging out with a friend for the day.

I am technically still in training, although she hasn’t once asked me about anything I have done or checked up on me…..in fact 90% of the I have been here she has been on the phone to friends/family…….nothing work related……..now she is surfing trademe……..I mean I have facebook up and you tube etc but I am still actioning things when they come in and I have taken 90% of the phone calls.

I was hoping to get a video recorded and uploaded for youtube today, but I don’t think that is going to happen.

I have been doing some thinking about where I am at – and more so since watching a you tube video from Allison……and a post earlier in the week from Jo…..basically it is okay to not be OKAY….and to be struggling, and it is important to actually talk about it……it is not okay to sweep it under the carpet and not deal with it……

I am sitting at just above my “alarm bells” weight of 105 kgs…..today it was 105.6 and I know most of that is because I am making some stupid decisions when it comes to food and I can eat junk until I almost dump…..then I wait for a bit…..then do it all over again…….I should only be having my 3 meals a day, and I should be having much more water than I am…….I almost drink no water……..I am getting the exercise in most of the time……but the jet planes that I eat in the car on the way have to stop.

The stupid thing about the scales are that earlier in the week they were sitting at 101.9 kgs ……so I am trying not to let it become the be all and end all….and that my clothes fit is more accurate…..but I can see the difference in my face….I feel very very puffy.

SO, I have to somehow work on why I am sabotaging myself…….I don[‘t get it, I want to be healthy so we can hopefully start a family…….so why am I doing it…….need some soul searching and find some answers.

I had a busy

Busy busy weekend, which was good.....I worked an 8 hour shift on Saturday from 8 am till 4pm and then came home ready for the trick or treaters.......I love the idea of Halloween, and we had bought a sign for the front gate/letter box saying "halloween treats" and we put it out at aroudn 5 pm so that we would hopefully get some kids drop by.......well we got one set of two people.......around the age of 14.........total letdown. I really wish NZ could actually get into this a bit more......it is a fun and harmless event.

Then on Sunday we had the extended family Christmas where all of my grandmothers decendants try and get together for one meal.......a pot luck BBQ. It is usually a little later in Novemember but everyone is so busy this year we had it on Sunday. Sometimes it is the only time I get to see my cousins.

Part way through I wanted to go to the WLS group as one of the newish guys was heading off to have his surgery... and I really wanted to give him my best. Another one of the ladies had not been coming for a long time as she thought she no longer had anything positive to contribute......but I had rung her and told her we missed her.....so she was there, and it was great to see her again.Went back to the BBQ and stayed maybe another hour and then headed home.

Today I am really tired and feeling a bit run down. I have been extremely cold and just miserable. I am finding the smallness of this house a little hard and I think I need to get the little studio room set up and maybe do some craft stuff......I just think I am a bit moody today.

Not much planned for this week, I am working 12 hour shifts next Saturday adn Sunday, so that will be the weekend dealt with.

UPDATE: An added part about Halloween.
I realise that this is not a fesitival for everyone, but I like it, and although Americans have embraced it, (the candy part) the meaning behind it is actually Celtic and dates back 2500 years. The church then got involved and changed the meaning behind it, although I still believe in it as a time to remember the dead. On the day of the dead which is Nov 1st.

I also realise that not everyone is comfortable with their kids going up to strangers houses and not knowing if they actually partake in the festival, which is why I bought a sign for our house and next year I will probably do the pumpkin thing or decorate the front yard in some way, probably a few days before so the neighbourhood know that I am doing it.....Will also let the neighbours who have kids know, so they know it is a safe house.

Motivated? Am I?

Okay so I did a youtube video today about being motivated and how the WLS community there is really amazing and it does motivate me......I am not 100% on track with everything, but I am heading in the rightish direction and I am motivated to keep moving forward.

I pu tinthe video post how I just seem to be more motivated to get up in the mornings and move and to take a little bit better care of my appearance -ie straightening my hair and putting on some make up etc......even on days when I am not working. It just feels good.

So I mentioned all this to Si and he said he didn't think it was motivation.....he says I have always been motivated - but just whenI have not been well I have not been able to manage to make it work......now I am not sure if I agree intirely - however I do beleive that it is actually ACCEPTANCE......of not just the situation with my health and my job, but where I am with my weightloss.

You know over the last two days of actually getting dressed up and going into my local stores.....I have had so many compliments on how I look and how much I have lost.....some people know and some don't. But I think I am getting to a point where I am ACCEPTING my lot........and you know what.....I am happy.

The trick is not to get complacent huh?